Dear Inner Child,
As I came to know that there is a little child in each one of us; a five year old version of us; filled with love and acceptance; I took this opportunity to know about your well being.
While writing this letter,I am clearly able to visualize a five year old version of myself;dancing with joy,laughing her heart out,love in her eyes,happy without reason.I miss you.I miss those time when I could love unconditionally,I could laugh without reason,be happy within my own self.
Now I have grown up, as an adult.But am I happy?I smile less,I love half-hearten,I judge myself,I think more.I want to apologize to you for not taking care of you.While I was in a hurry to grow up,I forgot to take you with me and therefore I lost my five year old version,which was the best version of myself.
I seek forgiveness from you for leaving you behind by beginning a war with you and criticizing you just like our parents criticized us: “you are stupid”,”you are not good enough”,”you are wrong”,etc.This constant criticism became a habit and hence I lost you in the past.I forgot that by criticizing and belittling you,I am doing a permanent damage to my own self esteem.
I am sorry I haven’t talked to you over the years.I am sorry I scolded you for so long.I want to make up for all the time we spent apart from each other.
I want to connect with my “little version” once again.I want to be whole once again.I want to make our life better once again.I want to be happy once again.
Today,as I write this note,I want to tell you;my five year old version;my inner child that :
“I love you and accept you exactly as you are”.
“I am safe and secure”.
“I forgive myself and release all the hurt and pain”.
“I love you,dear one.I am here for you.You are safe.”Louise Hay’s affirmations
I am looking forward to connect with you. See you soon and welcome happiness and love once again in our life.
Anger, referred as a negative emotion, the more we try to resist, the more strength it gains. The strength of anger is often so strong that it controls us during a heat of the moment.
I tried fighting my anger again and again. The more I tried to fight it, the more intense it became. With each passing day, this fight to win over anger became difficult for me.
I was always told that anger is very bad, we should not get angry. Those who get angry are not good. So, whenever it knocked in the door of my mind, I shut the door more tightly. I started suppressing it, assuming that it will go away eventually. But it didn’t happen. I kept the anger bottled up inside me, consuming me from inside and out. Slowly, I felt like trapped in a spider’s web, unable to escape.
One fine day I realized, do I really need to suppress my anger? I have already tried that for years, but it didn’t help. So, one day when anger knocked on my mind’s door again, I opened the door. But this time I was loving and kind towards it and hence we connected. For the first time,I embraced my anger part and I realized that it wanted to tell me so many things.
I started peeling its layers and then I found fear which was hidden deep inside me as I never wanted it to be revealed to the world.Secondly,I discovered rejection; from jobs, friends, relationships, work, etc. as nobody likes facing rejection. I peeled further layers and uncovered pain and hurt from others as well as by myself.Next,I observed diseases that was created unknowingly by me (psycho-somatic diseases) by suppressing anger. One last layer was peeled by me, and tears started rolling my eyes when I realized the amount of self-hatred I have within me.
This was the day when I uncovered a very important secret to emotions, i.e., every emotion we feel has something to tell us, a message which it wants to give, it is upon us whether we want to listen or ignore it.
We must understand that emotions, whether it is positive or negative are both part of our self. We cannot separate one part completely, although we do need to understand what message does it wants to convey. Listen to the message, when your anger, anxiety, sadness, fear etc. knocks on your door. Remember, these emotions are just the tip of an ice berg.Address those emotions and then let it go.
There are certain things which we can do in order to deal with our anger, such as:
- Create a journal, write it down(applicable to most of the emotions including anger)
- Take a face mirror, look into your eyes and speak to it, release all the resistance.
- Talk to someone you trust or someone who listens to you unconditionally.
- Write a letter to the person (to whom anger is directed), write everything down; tear it and either burn or flush it (try this out!)
- If it still doesn’t work, be mindful and whenever a negative thought enters, consciously think of 3 positive things, try to flip the script each time with positivity.
Let us all remember that every emotion is a way of expression of our hidden feelings. Embrace your emotions instead of fighting it, give it love and acceptance, it will go away.